Sunday, August 23, 2009

Change Again?

Change can be difficult for me. This past week was filled with four rather large changes. My in-laws dog, a beautiful golden retreiver who turned 16 on August 16th, went home after caring for her since Memorial Day, my husband started working in Fresno for three months only to come home on the weekends, both my kids went back to school and I no longer have a job because they "can't afford me anymore."

This leaves me with a lot of time alone. I, like many people, enjoy some alone time. It is nice to send everyone off and have my morning coffee, read my meditation book and write in my journal. It allows me to connect with God and centers me for the day. But lets be real, as the day continues I can find myself doing group therapy - alone in my home. My radar, named the mean lady, starts noticing everything around me that is incomplete, dirty, messy, unorganized and cluttered. Gradually my thoughts turn inward, criticizing and judging myself. Then, when I am tired of picking on me I can become intolerant of those around me.

Sometimes the outward changes in my life give me the opportunity to make the inward changes that help me grow. Today I am willing to do whatever inner work I need to quiet the mean lady to a whisper. I know she will always be a part of me but I don't have to give her a loud voice. Nice lady, here I come...


  1. Down with the mean lady! Down! Down! You are doing great - and congratulations of 8 followers!

  2. I live about a mile from you and I too have too much time on my hands. What if we help each other? Let's talk... :)